Aging, death, and other musings

It's funny to me that 10:55 p.m. is "late" now. 

In my younger days I didn't even yawn until 1:00 or 2:00 a.m. 

Such is life. 

I'm trying to get used to the fact that I graduated high school 5 years ago. 5 years. That is SUCH a long time to me. Maybe it was graduating from college, maybe it was getting married-- SOMETHING has jolted me into hyper-awareness of my age. 

Now, to be clear, I'm not afraid of aging. I look forward to all of the things that growing older will bring to my life. I think I'm just getting used to the fact that this adult chapter of my life is going to be so much longer than that of my childhood. Childhood passed by so quickly (although it definitely didn't seem like it at the time). When I was 8 I probably couldn't have told you what I did 5 months earlier let alone 5 YEARS. It blows my mind that I can say I did something a decade ago, remembering every detail with perfect clarity. 

**Just as a side note, the first thing I thought of when remembering being 12 years old was "RV trips." The Highs were a rambling crew back then.

I'm also getting used to the fact that everyone around me is aging. 

Grandparents, parents, sisters... 

Sisters aging --> precious. I get nieces and nephews (selfish reasoning, but true)! Also, I've noticed that the older we get, the more me and my sisters love each other. That has been a really sweet blessing to me. The older we get, the more we'll be able to laugh about (i.e. poopy diapers, crows feet, grey hair, menopause...).

Grandparents and parents...

That, I don't like to think about so much.

I've always been pretty comfortable talking about my own death. I love my Jesus and I know whatever life brings my way, He will protect me until the day He brings me home to be with Him. Talking about everyone else, though, isn't so easy. I'm very naturally protective of those that I love. It's kind of a maternal instinct. I'm the one who's always checking seatbelts, locking doors, being EXTRA paranoid about strangers, etc. 

I am still learning to trust God to take care of more than just me. Sometimes I tend to think it's up to me to take care of people. I think it's because I can't feel what my loved ones feel. I can't sense the presence of God in their lives like they can. It's hard for me to grasp the fact that they are in His hands just like I am, and that He knows the plans He has for them just like He does for me. 

Anyway, that's what's on my mind tonight.

Tomorrow brings all kinds of joys.

This is Jessica Thibodeau... signing off.